“So now we pause. Still. Ponder. Hush. Wait. Each day of Advent, He gives you the gift of time, so you have time to be still and wait. Wait for the coming of the God in the manger who makes Himself bread for us near starved. For the Savior in swaddlings who makes Himself the robe of righteousness for us worn out. For Jesus, who makes precisely what none of us can but all of us want: Christmas.” - Ann Voskamp, The Greatest Gift
Today I was challenged to start my blog again by a dear friend. Two things I love to do in this world...well three...speak, write and run (or exercise if you count walking and dancing in with the running). What better way to share all of them than to start blogging again? What better time than to start with Advent. Day one to boot.
If there is one thing I have a hard time doing is sitting still. I do not like to be kept waiting. To sit and watch a movie, especially one that is as predictable as a Hallmark Christmas Special is torture for me. If you put me in a dark room with one of those movies, you can guarantee that once it is over one of two things is going to happen, either I will run out in pure torture or I will spill every government secret I know to you. It drives me INSANE!
I am one who likes to be kept busy. Busy. Busy. Busy. Intricate recipes that require you to wait for hours for the puff pastry to rise and bake drive me insane. Craft projects that take time to slowly cut and create drive me insane.
I remember when I was on bedrest for my youngest. "Complete bed rest" the doctor said. She gave me strict instructions. I was completely miserable. The worst times were being in the hospital where the nurses monitored your every move. When I say every move, I mean every move. I couldn't even get up to go to the bathroom on some days. The days I did, I was singing the Hallelujah chorus. They told me the baby would be worth it. Day in and day out. The baby would be worth it.
That baby was a surprise to us. We were told after my second child that there would be no more. So she was a surprise. I almost died 3 times before I ever held her. The night after she was born my mom tells me this story. I, who had lost so much blood and was completely lucky to be alive, had incoherently looked at my mom and said, "Not holding her is like having the best Christmas present ever and not being able to open it." My mom said that they placed her in my arms while she stayed there and made sure that I wouldn't drop her or pass out. I cried.
This year, I have had a transformation like no other. It is hard to explain to some people. Running has changed my life. Yet, Jesus has changed it even more. For the first time in a long time, I am waiting in anticipation for the gloriousness of Christmas. I realized that I had to die to my old self. A self that was sick and unhealthy. God, for whatever reason, gave me the gift of time. He has a purpose for me now that is life changing for His Kingdom.
So, today, on Day One of Advent. I wait with open arms. I await with eager anticipation the arrival of that beautiful Christmas present given out so many years ago. I am a little incoherent having gone through all I have gone through. I am waiting. Waiting and loving. With all that I am...I know no matter what I am second. Thank you God for giving me the Gift of Time.
