Race #1 Gibson City Power Up

Race #1 Power Up 5K
Place: Gibson City, IL
Place: Last
Time: 42:17

They say you always remember your first race. It is unique and interesting. You stress about it from the time you think about signing up till the moment you cross the finish line. For me, it was no different. But, I'm getting a little ahead of myself. Let me start at the beginning.

I am not an athlete. I am not really coordinated. I am not a sports nut. I do not really care who wins or loses. I couldn't stand running as a child. I had no stamina. I was the person who begged to be picked last at PE. I hear people boo hoo all the time about being picked last for the games and events. For me, being picked last was a relief. It meant I might not have to play. It meant I might get to sit out an inning or two or three or maybe the whole game if I played it right.

On May 3, 2010 I went in for a routine gall bladder surgery. After the surgery, I was having health issues and on July 23rd was diagnosed with a rare disordered called Intra Cranial Hypertension. On August 12th, I had a Lumbar Puncture or Spinal Tap that went wrong. During the procedure, I was partially paralyzed on my left side. Luckily, it was temporary and I was able to walk again, but I was in a lot of pain from the procedure and the disorder. Because of medication, I also because severely deficient in potassium which is the "glue" that helps keep the electrical motions like your heart going in your body. I became severely depressed and suicidal. Slowly, God was working on my physically pained body and hardened heart. He wanted me to start walking.

On May 3, 2011, I walked on my treadmill. I was going to walk for at least 30 min, no matter how fast I went or how far I went. I only went a quarter of a mile. I got off in tremendous pain. I took my painkillers and went to bed and cried for about 30 minutes. However, I did it again the next day and the next. I walked for at least 30 minutes for 206 days straight. I became stronger physically and emotionally. My streak ended but my resolve did not. I kept going.

One day I walked, on a fluke, the 3 miles in around 40 minutes. At the time, I was working out with a personal trainer. I told him my incredible story. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Kristina, why don't you start running." ME RUN? Impossible! Or was it? This was the end of May 2012. Beginning of June, I started to try and run. It was as awkward as the first time I started walking. I also learned a big lesson. I had to get good shoes. My cheap Walmart shoes where not cutting it when it came to running. I had to really swallow my pride and went to a shop that specialized in running shoes. I tried to get shoes that were on sale but none fit.  When they did the measurements, they found that I over pronated mostly with my right foot. What that means is my right foot wants to turn in causing pain in my calf. I swallowed my pride even more and spent major money on my first pair of really nice running shoes. My stomach hurt so bad. What if I fail at this? I wasn't a real runner. What if I never really run? What if I don't use these shoes? I just left holding this box of Brook's Adrenalin's and just prayed that I made the right decision.

I started to run a little more. I couldn't really run even a mile. Summer kept going. I heard about a 5k that was being held in our little hometown of Gibson City. A 5k is 3.1 miles. I could walk that distance but I could not even begin to think of running it. Fear gripped my heart every time I thought about even entering it. One night on my way home from my parents, I was still thinking about the race. Should I enter or not? A song by Mandisa came on the radio. She sang about saying goodbye to who you were and saying goodbye to the liar on the shoulder saying you cannot do it. Then, I heard "Where were you 2 years ago on the weekend of the race?" WHAT?!? It dawned on me. The race was going to be on Saturday, August 11, 2012...almost 2 years from the date of the day that left me in horrendous pain. What a way to break free from the pain than to run/walk my first race!?!

So I turned in my registration. Looking back, that was the first huge step to a process that is amazing to think about. The next is the story of The Orange Shirt.

My church, New Beginnings Christian Fellowship, had decided to form a group that would run and/or walk in the race that day as well. They had decided to get t-shirts that we would wear as a group. Didn't think much of it. We ordered the shirts. The Sunday, when I first saw them, I was floored. I am a colorful woman. I love bright, bold colors, but there are a few colors I do not wear...much. One of them is orange. I always felt orange was the color of pumpkins and I never wanted to look like the great orange pumpkin. The day I saw the shirts, my heart started beating harder. They. Were. ORANGE! OH! NO! Great Pumpkin here I come! Blech!

But something wonderful, maybe miraculous, happened. I took a nap that day. I had a dream. In my dream I was running in an orange shirt. On the back were the initials of all these people. People who believed in me. People who may not be able to run because of physical ailments but wanted to be a part of racing and running. People who would be praying for me each race. People who just loved me and wanted what was for the best. People who were grateful that God did not take my life. That I did not take my life. It makes me tear up to even think about it to this day. It was the most beautiful thing, this dream.

I woke up and asked my friends and family on Facebook if they would be "backers". My friend Tina came over and we created the first Orange Shirt for this race. By the time it was done, I had around 150 initials reaching as far as 3 different countries. It wasn't just a pumpkin...it was beautiful. BUT my story doesn't just end here with the race beginning. No...I had another hurdle to face.

Sunday before the race, I wasn't feeling good. I hadn't been sick sick in a long time. By Monday, I knew things were not right. By Tuesday, I visited my doctor and had been diagnosed with bronchitis. Should I drop out? Was I capable enough to do this race? I was scared to even attempt it. What if I failed? What if I came in last place? What if I was just a fool doing a fool errand? What if everyone laughed at me and I was just a crazy girl who should have stayed on the sidelines watching everyone else? The night before I prayed. "God if this is meant to be. If this is something big, a plan greater than me, PLEASE help me tomorrow. Show me the right path. Be with me. Keep me strong."

 The morning dawned beautiful. I still wasn't feeling 100% but I was committed. I was going to see this through. I put on my very first Orange Shirt. I later described that I breathed life into it. It felt like I was stepping into the person that I was finally meant to be after all these years and I felt a feeling of excitement and wonder. What would the morning be? Would I be the same person or different?

We lined up for the race and my heart started beating faster. Next thing I knew, I saw Amanda standing by me. "I'm going to stay with you this entire race." I told her she didn't have to do that. "I know but I am going to do it any way." Suddenly, I felt such a sense of peace that I couldn't even begin to explain it. I knew I was going to be ok. I knew I was going to finish. My good friend, Trish and her family drove all the way from Pana to be here for me that day. It was the best feeling. I knew that I would never be the same after that morning. I was saying "goodbye" to the old me. I would never again be the Kristi would wished she was dead. I would never again be the Kristi would yelled at God for every breath that I took. I knew from that moment on I would use this as an outlet to share my life and my message with the world. But first, I had to run the race set out before me.

AND I DID>>>

AND I FINISHED LAST>>>>

But I knew I had found my purpose. I had found my purpose even with a broken body. I knew I wanted others to find it as well. God didn't leave me here on this earth as a cosmic joke to Him or anyone else. My purpose is to tell others that as well. You are here for a reason. This race gave me that. It gave me a purpose. It gave me a mission. It gave me The Orange Shirt. It was the start of unbreakable friendships. I knew then that it was just the beginning of wonderful things that were going to happen. AND it was the start of the finish line kiss. Team Meece kisses at the end of every race. Racing has changed this family and this was the start of it all.







Unbreakable Determination ~ In the beginning

It's hard to believe there might have been a vision before it all began. A blog that might have been  a glimpse of who I was going to become. Sometimes I think it was in me all along. That person who was longing to break free. To just stretch and become. I wrote this in September 2011. It was a almost a full year before I would run my first 5k. Amazing it is the verses I use today to motivate me and encourage me. It is the basis of The Orange Shirt and why I run. The pre-curser of the person I would become. It is almost eerie in the beauty. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame and sat down at the right hand of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12:1-3

I have a confession to make. I have always wanted to be a runner. I have always thought that a person who ran for sport or for exercise was...well, for lack of a better word...cool. It always seemed like that a person who ran had strength. Power. Control. The way the arms and legs and body moved in such a fluid motion (most of the time) was just awesome to me. I have never been a runner. I have always been overweight. I have always lacked some form of coordination. Somehow when I try to run my body doesn't want to work the way I imagine a runner's body is to work. My arms don't move fluidly. My legs don't move fluidly. My body does some herky jerky thing that is...well, for lack of a better word...not cool. I have always dreamt  of being a runner. However, my reality is that I just am not a runner. At least, not in this reality. So why would Paul write for us to RUN with perseverance? UGG!! He just loved writing in sports analogies. Such a "guy" thing. Now that my body is 'broken' the likelihood of me ever becoming a runner is even less likely than it was when I was a teenager. But I think to take the running out of context of the entire scripture is a tough nut. The scripture clearly says "run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Oh...no you just did not! A RACE marked out just for ME?!? I...AM...B-R-O-K-E-N!!! Did God not get the message that I cannot run a race? Maybe I should just help remind him that I am broken. Wait!!! He allowed this to happen to me and now He wants me to RUN a RACE?!? Maybe I should tell him that I "think" this race is too hard! That's the ticket. This race is too hard!! I can't do it any more because I am broken. My body hurts and hurts baaaddddd. Maybe I should tell him I don't want to do it. I'm going to just stop right now. I'm going to pull a toddler moment and lay down on the ground and kick and scream (within reason because remember my body is broken) because I DON'T WANT TO RUN THIS RACE!!!!!! I am tired and I am slow. I am dragging my feet. No running here. Wait...there is more scripture....

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him, endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition  from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

When I hurt and am in the most pain that I have ever felt, I call this "I want to meet Jesus" pain. Yet, Jesus suffered more pain that I will ever know. I know I have a broken body, but Jesus was beaten to death for me...for you. He suffered the ultimate broken body. His "race" to the cross was a slow, painful, broken path to Golgotha and he did it out of his love for you and me.

When I don't want to "run" my "race" any more because I "think" my pain is too much to bare, I need to focus my eyes on Jesus. My race is marked out for me just like Jesus' race was marked out for him. He was not a marathoner, but he crossed the finish line to make sure that we could all live an eternal life. So right now, I just need to press on even if I "think" it is too hard or I don't want to because I have a race to finish.

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I am going to blog about my races. Each one is unique and has a story to tell. I need to share them. I need to share my story and to share the people who were there and the faces behind the stories. I hope through this blog that it encourages you. Motivates you. Maybe gets you to move to your first race or want to run your next race. For me, it will just be a marker of journey. One that led me from the person who was in great pain but am now running races and enjoying life. Welcome to my story. Welcome to the journey of a lifetime.