This past month, God has been doing a work in me. He has been showing me the difference between Humility and Insecurity.
One is a Character Attribute. One is a Character Defect. I bet you can only guess what I have. People have mistaken my insecurity and lack of self-worth for humility. I do not have humility. I have insecurity.
Humility is God-focused and comes with a true understanding of your place and moment with Him. You don't need titles or awards because you know where your true worth stands in.
Insecurity is Me-focused. It rests on the fact that you are scared of who you might become and what others think of you. If God calls you to do something and someone doesn't agree with that calling, you become inward focused instead of God-focused. You start doubting The One that has had your life planned since the dawn of all creation. He knew you in your mother's womb. Your own mother did not really know you from the time you were first conceived. Sure, she might have known when she was newly pregnant, but only God knew YOU. He knew and had plans for you. So, why start doubting those plans?
Because the day you were born, Satan starts to get to know you as well. He doesn't want you to follow the Will of God, nor does he want you to help others down that path either. He, too, is the master of plans. He is patient and has lots of time to study you. By the time you have reached the Age of Accountability, Satan knows how to get to you. Not in a swift and mighty way, but a slow and deceitful way. He spends years executing his plans. Satan does a dance to take you away from God and what God's will is for your life. He slowly lays out his plans for you, and hopes that you fall in line with him and not God. Because we live in a fallen world, Satan's ways, to us seem so enticing and so much easier to follow. But are they really? Are they really freeing? I, personally, can tell you they are not. They just lead to a lot of the same chains and bondage that you started with. Satan is the Master of Lies.
Humility or Insecurity. I have asked God to break the chains of Insecurity in my life. Chains that I have been bound to since I was a little girl. I prayed just today that may no one trip over me that wants to be closer to God. My mission. My vision is in line, right now with what God wants. Sometimes obedience to God is not easy because being God-focused is not the "popular" path. People question your motives. They have lots to say in it. AND if you do have the Character Defect of Insecurity...well...it may...no...it will...throw you off track. I know...it did and I don't want to think of how many days were wasted or how many lives might be affected because of getting off-track.
So what is so important to me that I am willing to trade the Character Defect of Insecurity for the Character Attribute of Humility. The Kingdom of God. I know everyone should have what I have. Freedom. I am more content and freer than I have ever been. All because I have chosen to break the chains of who I was and always remember...I am second.
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