“From the very beginning of Christ’s incarnation the Holy Spirit was quietly doing what needed to be done to put forward Jesus Christ as the Son of God and Savior of man.” -Piper
What would it look like if the same were said of us in our daily lives?
“From the time she wakes up, ___________ is quietly doing what needs to be done to put forward Jesus Christ as the Son of God and Savior of man.” (shereadstruth.com)
This really convicted me today.
I've been angry. Angry about this weekend. I realize that this weekend would have gone on without me. I realize that everything would have happened if I had not stepped up back in October and volunteered my time. I realize the food would have gotten there without me. I realize people would have still walked through that door. People I know. People I love. People I pray for on a daily basis. I realize that. This weekend was not about me or for me. However, it doesn't negate the fact that I spent a lot of time preparing for this weekend or talked to many of these families or sponsors or prayed for this event. Yet, I felt like I was constantly being "put in my place." People seemed angry at me. Almost as if by me doing what I had done was a blaspheme to the whole event. Just me being there. (Well, that was my perception anyway.) Then, I heard that I was used as "an example" to the drivers. My personality was once again put on display as if I was not "good enough." I was "one of THOSE types of people." Gosh...that really stung. What had I done to deserve that? Have the personality that God gave me? I had given my all. I was tired and emotionally drained. I had spent hours behind the scenes doing things no one saw but God. I was angry. No one stood up for me. No one. I got the same "thanks" that the volunteer that showed up for a couple of hours did. I stood at registration and I watched the one lady praying with the families that I knew and loved and I bitterly thought "Would she even remember their names tomorrow? Tomorrow when I prayed for them for the hundredth time would she remember their names?" Here I was doing registration and she was praying for the families that I loved. Not once did she look at me, her friend and say "Kristina, can I pray for you. You look tired and stressed. Can I pray for you?" Not once. But she prayed with my friends. My friends whom I have prayed for for months and some for years. Yet, she never prayed or asked to pray for me.
I almost didn't want to go back and spend even more "lonely" hours today working in the kid's church...organizing the cabinets, getting the Christmas cards ready to hand out, making sure all was set up for this weekend, doing general cleaning. I, mean, if it wasn't for this blog, no one would have known what I had done today. No one but God. I'm not sure they would even cared. Sure, Kid's Church would still have gone on Sunday. They would have functioned with a disorganized cabinet. I know, I've done it before. They do not need me to go on every week. The cards may or may not have made it out. No one would have been none the wiser and like it was said "We don't have to do it just because we have done it in the past." True. Just makes for a nice touch. Someone would probably step in with or without me. I, totally, get it. But, it just would be nice for someone to notice.
Someone does notice. He notices everything I do. He sees all the pins and thumbtacks I sorted today. He watched me sort through all the markers. He watched me dance and praise Him. I don't have to shout out every day all the things I do in "quite" for Him. People may never notice what I do. They may think that I am a "bother", a "loud mouthed" "talks too much", "overbearing", "worships to wildly" and whatever else they want to throw in there. But there is someone who does notice all the time I spend in prayer. All the time I spend quietly doing things while no one is looking. I should be and will be from now on OK with that. There are two sides of me. There is the wild, crazy, fun-loving Jesus woman who likes to talk and share and enjoy others. Then there is just me. Just the woman who will spend hours making sure all is organized and ready to go for Kid's Church or putting an event together while someone else gets to love on her friends. Because in the end, it's all about putting Jesus first and me second.
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